When I refused the Bread of Life
Here is a story of a man lying in his bed full of regret, and he deserved every bit of it.
Written below is a fictional account of a man who were one of the many disciples who went away from Jesus and no longer followed him in John 6. Again it’s fictional, but the probability of it happening is high (though most likely it would have been written in Aramaic, not English).
Here is a story of a man lying in his bed full of regret, and he deserved every bit of it.
“Though much time had passed, I remember it like it was yesterday. It was by the shore of the Lake Gennesaret, when I was young and full of vigor. As the sun shone bright in the early dawn, me and my friends had gathered to look for the one they called Jesus. Why were we looking for Him?
Well, we wanted to make Him our king! We believed He was the Prophet that we had been waiting for. Yes, the Messiah!
I mean just the evening before, He had turned five loaves of bread to feed a multitude, where me, my friends and around five thousand other men were able to eat with joy and satisfaction. Can you believe it? five bread to five thousand? Plus the way He taught had a certain gravitas. I felt my heart struck and my eyes tearful every time I hear Him teach. So when all those with me wanted to look for Him to make Him king, me and my friends went with them.
So when we looked all around and came to the other side of the lake, we found Him and wanted to make Him our king. But of course, we need another sign! So we asked Him to show us another sign. After all, maybe what He did the evening before was just a fluke. If He was truly king, He should show us that He could do it again, that He could feed all of us who had come passionately (and hungrily) looking for Him.
Except He didn’t give in to our wishes.
He started to say that we should not be looking for bread that perishes, but for bread that gives eternal life. He started to ramble about how only those whom His Father had sent Him will come to Him, and that He would save them on the last day. He started talking about us needing to believe in Him and follow Him.
Many of us started to wonder (including me of course). I mean, what does his father, Joseph have to do with us being sent to him? We knew who his father and mother was: the carpenter and his wife from the poor little town of Nazareth. There were even rumors that this Jesus was conceived even before Joseph and his wife were married!
But then he clarifies the kind of Father he was talking about. No not Joseph. He was talking about Elohim. He was talking about Adonai. He was calling Him his father!
Furthermore, he called himself the bread of life! Oh the audacity!
I understand that he could feed five thousand men with five loaves of bread, but to say he is the source of the bread? Or he is the bread? I mean, what kind of teaching is this? Does he want us to eat his body?
When I wanted clarification on this, Jesus continued on, “The bread is my flesh. If you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you will have life…” or something like this.
Oh, how can anyone sane follow such an insane man? How can we be cannibals and eat his flesh? What is he? a prophet who speaks in symbols or a madman?
I don’t know. It was let down. I thought this Jesus was going to save us from those pesky Romans. I thought this Jesus would be the answer to our prayers for peace and plenty! I was enraged! He was good enough to be our king, yet he speaks like this? It seems like his teaching is too much for me and my friends to take.
We don’t like it that he calls Adonai Father. We don’t like all these prophetic symbolism of his flesh as bread and his blood as wine. Just because the Passover is near, doesn’t make it right to equal himself with the Passover meal… I mean, is he like the Passover lamb or something? I don’t know, my head hurts just thinking about it.
But in all honesty, I don’t like that he says he is the bread of life. Why? It means that I really have to follow him to live!
I can’t do that…
The truth is, I don’t want to give up my life to follow him! I want to live my life, fulfill my goals! I want to get married, have kids, have a big farm, and drive out those pesky tax collectors and Romans. That is the kind of life I dream of - rich, powerful, and successful! I want Jesus to be the one who follows me and helps me get those things, not me follow him and lose those things.
And if he won’t do those things for us, then we won’t follow him.
So, together with my friends, we left.
Yet while walking away, we heard him talk to the few that remained with him, “Will you also go?”
When I heard that, my heart was struck once again.
I felt that those words were directed at me. This Jesus - who honestly has proven that he really fulfills the signs of the Messiah - is asking me - “if you know I am the Messiah and you leave, where would you go? Do you have another savior?”
As I was walking away, tears fell from my eyes. I knew the answer - there is no other savior.
My money cannot save me.
My property cannot save me.
My friends cannot save me.
There is no where to go! Yet, I cannot let go of my pride of holding on to my life the way I want it to be.
Then I heard one of them say, “To whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life!” I felt those words etching into my heart like a chisel hammering away on a stony wall. I thought to myself, “He is right, no one speaks like this Jesus. His Words revive souls. His words changes hearts, His Words heal rather than destroy. His Words really are eternal life.”
But instead of going back to Jesus, my feet brought me further and further away from him.
Nearer to my property, further from him.
Nearer to my friends further from him.
Nearer to my family, further from him.
Nearer to my dreams, further from him.
Until I never saw him again.
And now, as I am in my deathbed, I realized I made a mistake. A mistake I thought I can correct anytime I wanted. A mistake that in the end, kept me away from what would give me life.
My property did not and could not give me life.
My family did not and could not give me peace.
All of these were taken by the Romans,
and now I am dying with no one to care for me.
I have lost everything! I have lost my life and its eternity.
When I refused the Bread of Life.
If you are reading this, don’t make the same mistake I made.”
Hey young adult, hope the story above is not a TL/DR for you. I wrote it for two reasons. One, it was a reflection on John 6, part of my Bible reading, and I wondered what the people who were rejecting Jesus thought or felt. I’m sure they felt that they were doing the right thing at that time of not following Jesus. Yet at the end, they are either full of regret or full of pride to admit any regret when they did not follow Him.
That’s the 2nd reason I wrote this: some of you may be saying to yourself that you don’t have a good reason to follow Jesus the way Jesus wants to be followed. You want to follow Him your own way on your own time. You want to hold on to certain sins, refuse to give up certain aspirations - all because you want Jesus to follow you, and not the other way around.
I’ve felt that before, I felt before that following Jesus can tank my career, can hinder the joy I’m seeing all my other classmates are experiencing. I have even felt following Jesus leads from trial to trial non-stop! Yet, Jesus has proven me wrong. Yes there were trials and pains and hurts. But, following Him was the best decision I had the opportunity to make. Following Him made me use my time and treat people better. Following Him led me to meeting my wife. Following Him made me a better person.
So brother or sister, follow Jesus. He is the bread of life. This means, following Him leads to a kind of nourishing you won’t find anywhere else.